Chapter 16: Pieces of Me

We stood there in silence as the car reached the top, and the doors opened.

“I need to go,” she said, suddenly.

“You don’t want to take a walk up here?” I asked her.

“No… I need to go home,” she repeated.

“Let’s just take a walk,” I said.

“Yong Min oppa’s waiting for me,” she said.

“Araso,” I sighed.

At least her brothers would keep her safe. I’ve never met Sierra’s brothers, but from her constant complaints of how protective they were, I knew that they loved her dearly; even though they were only half-siblings.

I made a call to the person in charge and minutes later, the doors closed and the car started moving downwards.

“Please leave Jae Wook alone,” she said, reminding me of the purpose she’d wanted to meet.

“Leave him, and I will leave him alone,” I said.

“Why must you always resort to this?”

“You’re pushing me to it!”

“This is your choice, not mine,” she said.

“And my choice doesn’t matter?”

“Your choice? What about my choice? Don’t you want me to be happy, Han Kyung?” she asked, catching me by surprise.

Music: Super Junior - 거울 (Mirror)

For all this time, I wanted to protect her from all hurt and sadness. But by doing this, was I giving her any happiness? I believed that she would be happy with me, but up till now, she has been fighting me off. How should I prove to her that we were meant to be?

[Sierra’s POV]

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he replied.

“I’m hurting now,” I said. “Because you’re threatening to hurt a person I care about.”

“Why won’t you care about me then? This guy whom you’ve met for less than 2 weeks… you’re choosing to care about his well-being more than mine.”

“Are you unwell?” I asked him.

“Since you left me… I have never recovered.”

“You need to stop dwelling on that.”

“I will stop if you can prove that you don’t feel anything for me. I know that you still love me. In some way… our hearts are still connected,” he said.

“No…”

“I know why you left,” he suddenly said.

I stiffened at the statement, and looked up at him. It was impossible that he knew, and yet when I looked at him, the look of resolution on his face showed me that he wasn’t bluffing.

“I know my father had threatened you,” he said.

It was the 5th month into our relationship. Han Kyung was out of town for a day, and I decided to hang out with Hee Chul, Sung Min and Shin Dong at a nearby mall. We were browsing through the shops when a man in a suit approached me.

“Sierra-shi,” he said.

“Ne?” I looked at him.

I had never seen him before, and I was puzzled that he knew my name.

“Our chairman would like to speak to you,” he said.

“Who is your chairman?” I asked.

“Chairman Ahn,” he said, and I recognized the name immediately.

What did Han Kyung’s father want from me? The man led me to a nearby exit, and as we left the building, I was brought to a limousine. He opened the door and indicated that I entered the car.

Inside the car sat Han Kyung’s father. I’ve seen his portraits when I visited Han Kyung’s house, and now that I am meeting him, I realized that they hardly did him justice. He was a very dignified looking man. He looked like royalty, if you will, even though he was in fact the head of a mob.

“Annyeonghashimnikka,” I bowed slightly.

“Let’s cut to the chase,” he smiled grimly.

“Ne?” I said, confused.

“Stop seeing my son,” he said.

I was stunned and speechless. My mouth hung open as he continued to speak.

“Indeed your pedigree is quite impeccable, and you’re quite suited to Han Kyung since you’re both half-bred,” he said, referring to our births as if he was breeding dogs, “but you’re not the girl I have picked for him. I have yet to find the right girl for his wife, and I am sure that she will be nothing like you.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “But what’s wrong with me?”

“You don’t have the connections I am looking for. I don’t intend to invest in the hotel business. Someone from a family with a business more suited to mine would be ideal.”

“But we’re not getting married,” I said.

“I know my son,” he cut me off. “He has never bothered with girls, no matter how beautiful they were and how they threw themselves at him. The fact that he is actually officially dating you means that he’s serious.”

“We’re still too young,” I said.

“I don’t see that as an issue. If you were the girl I approved of, the both of you could marry and still go to school. I would allow it… if only you were the right girl. But you aren’t.”

“I don’t want to marry your son,” I said. “We’re just dating.”

“My son doesn’t just date. Trust me… he has plans to marry you if I don’t stop him.”

I was speechless. Han Kyung had never spoken of marriage, but it was true that he was very serious when it came to us. He did everything possible for our relationship to work. He did whatever I wanted just so I couldn’t find fault with him or us. Did this really mean he was that serious about us?

I felt a short moment of elation when I realized how much he cared about me, but then I remembered what his father had just said. The very same reason that is making me happy would be the same reason that my happiness will be taken away.

Han Kyung’s father gave me an ultimatum; to stop seeing Han Kyung, or he will see that me, my family and my friends will feel his wrath. I have not witnessed his power, but Han Kyung had told me stories of how his father caused trouble for his enemies; crippling their businesses, ruining their credibility and good names. His father was capable of all these.

“Your father built his empire from nothing but a pile of sand,” he said. “I’d hate to see a good man lose everything he had worked for with his own blood and sweat.”

“You can’t do this…” I said.

“Yes I can…” he said. “I could take away everything from your family, and it would be all because their little princess decided to indulge in her puppy love.”

I knew that my father had put his entire life into his business. To lose it would mean seeing his entire world crumble before him. I couldn’t let that happen. As for my friends, I didn’t want to imagine what Han Kyung’s father might do to them. I loved Han Kyung, but more people were going to get hurt if we stayed together. It may seem a little over-melodramatic, but I had to make the sacrifice.

“Sierra…” Han Kyung called out to me, and I pulled myself out of my thoughts.

“Since you know… you shouldn’t push me further,” I said.

“I can convince my father,” he said. “We don’t have to do this.”

“And you have managed to convince him?” I asked.

“Not yet,” he said. “But I will.”

“He probably has someone else in mind for you. Why don’t you just accept your fate?” I said.

“This isn’t my fate,” he said. “I am as much of a victim as you are.”

“We’re just going around in circles,” I pointed out. “Your father will never change his mind, and I’ve found someone new. Let it go, Han Kyung.”

“No…” he said, stubbornly.

“Please…” I begged as I grasped his arm. “We have no choice. More people will suffer if we stay together.”

“What about me? It’s alright for me to suffer?” he asked as he pulled me towards him.

Music: SS501 – FIND

We were face to face now; our bodies just inches apart and our lips a breath away.

“Is it right for the ones I love to suffer?” I asked him.

“I’ll fix this,” he said softly.

“You can’t,” I said, my voice cracking.

“Wo bu neng shi qu ni,” he whispered. (I can’t lose you.)

“Please stop…” I pleaded.

He stared at me for a moment, then in an act of defiance, he kissed me. He pulled me towards him, and covered my lips with his. My hands came up to his chest, wanting to push him away and scream at him for his audacity, but my heart betrayed me. The tiny shreds of emotions I felt for him began to entwine again. I’d torn that emotion to shreds and left it scattered, within my heart, hoping that they would someday just fade to nothingness. But his kiss… his kiss had brought them back together again. How will I ever be able to let go this time?

[Han Kyung’s POV]

I had never forgotten the way her lips tasted. She was a drug… one that I had tried to be rid off, but will never succeed. The moment I felt her giving in, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer, until our bodies were against each other, absorbed in each other’s, and I prayed as the kiss went on. I prayed that she will never ever leave me again… even if it meant giving up our lives for this love.

“Stop…” she whispered against my lips.

She pulled away, but came back again, as if there were a magnet drawing her back towards me.

“No,” I whispered back, and I moved my lips off hers to start kissing her neck.

“I can’t do this,” she said.

Tears started trickling down her face, and I tasted them as I tried to kiss them away.

“Don’t leave me,” I whispered as I rained her face with kisses. “Don’t leave me,” I pleaded.

She sighed, and wrapped her arms around me tightly, burying her face into my shoulder.

I felt the pain of our separation slowly dissipating. She was back in my arms, and I knew that she was back in my life. She didn’t say it, but her actions told me enough. I’m never letting her leave… never…

Chapter 15: Healing - Hurting

[Sierra’s POV]

“Is he okay?” I asked Jae Joong as I walked back into the apartment.

I was outside awhile ago, calling Han Kyung. I’d had enough of this craziness, and I wanted him to stop trying to interfere with my life. I had to meet him and end it tonight.

“Yea…” Jae Joong said as he stuck a band aid on the bridge of Jae Wook’s nose. “He’ll be fine. I’ve seen worse.”

“Worse?” I exclaimed.

“Shh…” the both of them shushed me.

“Omma’s asleep,” Jae Joong said.

“Mian,” I grinned sheepishly.

“Hyung’s been beaten up worse before. But that was long ago,” Jae Joong said.

“It’s your fault,” Jae Wook said.

“Yes… yes…” Jae Joong nodded.

“Why?”

“I used to get picked on in school, and one time, it was by a group of thugs. Hyung stepped in and got beaten up really badly.”

“I couldn’t well run away, or watch my baby brother get smashed, could I?”

“No,” I smiled. “You’re such a wannabe,” I laughed.

“Wannabe?” Jae Wook said.

“Yes… a hero wannabe,” I said, and Jae Joong snickered.

“This is what you get for looking out for you own brother,” Jae Wook sighed.

“Is this why you’re so fit now?” I asked Jae Joong as I gave him a once over.

“I’m not fit,” Jae Joong blushed. “I just tried to beef up a little so that I didn’t look like a wimp. Then my hyung wouldn’t get beaten up for me ever again,” he said.

“Why don’t you beef up?” I asked Jae Wook.

“I need to work,” he said. “I don’t have time for sports.”

“Excuses…” I said as I shook my finger at him.

“I need to work,” he protested.

“Araso… araso…” Jae Joong patted him on the back. “You don’t have time… kwaench’ana,” he said.

“I’m toned, alright,” he said. “Jae Joong is buff.”

“Araso…” I laughed. “I’m just teasing,” I added, as I stood up and walked down the steps.

“You’re leaving now?” Jae Wook asked.

“Yes. It’s late,” I said.

“Okay… I’ll walk you out,” he said as he tried to stand up.

“Kwaench’ana… Stay there,” I said, but he still tried to stand. “Keep him there, Jae Joong,” I added, for good measure.

“Ya!” Jae Wook exclaimed as Jae Joong grabbed onto him.

“Chalga, nuna,” Jae Joong said as he tried to hold Jae Wook down.

“Bye guys,” I said as I walked out.

“I can’t believe it,” Jae Wook said. “Why are guys always listening to her orders?”

I laughed at his disbelief that his brother had just acted on my command.

“Cos she’s hot,” Jae Joong laughed as I closed the door behind me.

I took a deep breath as I walked out the building, onto the street.

“Shall I take you home, Miss Sierra?” my driver asked.

“No. Take me to Namsan Tower,” I said.

“At this hour?” he asked.

I looked at my watch and realized it was almost 11pm. My brothers would have a fit if I didn’t return home soon, but I had to see Han Kyung.

“Ne,” I said, as I got into the car. “Take me there. I’ll call Yong Min oppa to explain my lateness.”

“As you wish,” he said, and closed the door.

“Sierra… odiya?” Yong Min oppa asked as soon as he picked up my call.

“I need to meet a friend,” I said. “I’ll be home as soon as I can, okay?”

“Araso… be careful, and be home before 1,” he said.

“Ne,” I replied.

“If you’re not home by 1am, I’m calling the police,” he threatened.

“Ne,” I laughed. “I’ll be home before 1.”

“Good,” he said.

“See you later,” I said.

“Right,” he said, and hung up.

[Han Kyung’s POV]

I paced back and forth as I waited for her at the cable car station. I’d rushed there as soon as she called, even though she’d clearly said that she would be there in an hour. Sure enough, an hour later, she turned up. She wrapped her coat tighter around herself as she walked towards me.

“You wanna go up?” I asked her.

“Sure,” she said, and I followed behind her as she walked towards the cable car waiting for us.

When she said that she’d wanted to meet there, I’d immediately made a call to make sure there was a cable car available for us.

She walked in and went to stand at one end of the car. I stood at the other, giving her the space she clearly wanted. The doors closed and the cable car started moving.

“Did you want to talk to me?” I asked her.

“Why are you doing this?” she said.

She was looking out of the window, staring intently at the ground we were leaving, trying so hard not to look at me.

“You asked to meet,” I said, pretending to misunderstand.

“Han Kyung… you know what I’m talking about,” she said. “Why did you ask Ryeo Wook to beat up Jae Wook?”

“I didn’t,” I lied.

“I saw your car,” she pressed on.

“I was only there to talk to him,” I said.

“Why? You have no reason to speak to him. Do you know him?”

“I know he could hurt you,” I said.

“You don’t know that,” she said. “That’s for me to find out. No one knows if anyone would hurt me.”

“I know that most men cannot be trusted, and I don’t trust this guy.”

“But this isn’t your business, is it?” she said, now turning to look at me.

Music: SS501 - Find

Her eyes glistened with her unshed tears each time the lights from outside the car shone in through the window. All I wanted to do was to walk towards her and hold her in my arms.

“You’ll always be my business, Sierra,” I said.

“No!” she yelled at me. “I am no longer your business! I was no longer your business the moment we broke up.”

“You broke up with me,” I pointed out. “I didn’t break up with you.”

“It makes no difference,” she said. “I want nothing to do with you.”

I looked at her straight on when she said those words, not showing her how much they hurt me.

“Do you really believe that?” I challenged her.

“Why else would I be here tonight?” she said. “You didn’t think I was here so that we could reunite, did you?”

I felt the last shred of patience within me shatter with her last sentence. I had hoped. Of course I had hoped. But being ridiculed for it was hurting me more than I’d imagined.

“I thought you’d come to beg me to take you back,” I said.

My mask was coming on now; the mask that hid my insecurities and disappointment. I never liked putting on my mask in front of her, but she pushed me to it.

“Oh please…” she practically sneered at me. “You’re the last guy I would beg for anything.”

“Really?” I said as I started moving towards her. “Would you come begging if I said I’d kill Kim Jae Wook? I could kill his whole family just so you’d come begging me to stop,” I bit out as I came face to face with her.

“Han Kyung…” she said, visibly shocked at my words.

“Who’s begging now?” I sneered back at her, and she took a step back as if I were about to attack.

“He has done nothing to you,” she said.

“He took my woman,” I said.

“I am not yours.”

“You were mine.”

“Were… would be the operative word,” she said.

“You still are,” I said, lowering my tone this time.

“It’s over Han Kyung… it was over long ago,” she said. “Please… let me live my life.”

“I want you back in my life,” I said. “As long as you come back, I would do anything for you.”

“We can’t be together,” she said.

“Why? And don’t say that you don’t love me, cos I know that’s a lie,” I said as I reached out and held her by both her arms.

“I don’t love you,” she said, not looking at me.

“Say it to my face,” I said softly.

She looked up slowly, and as if my prayers were answered, she turned away wordlessly. She still loved me.